Please excuse me I was absent because:

The reason for the lack of posts, on Willows side:
Apathy, mixed with a cruel return of my Sims II addiction caused me to take a hiatus while I masterminded and controlled people whos jobs and houses are better then mine. I needed the escape from reality. However the blue skies are being clouded over by the grey rain of reality, so I am back.

Willow

Drag Queen yikes

When I saw this one I asked myself a question. "Why?" Why would anyone buy a dress for, watch out big number, $91.00? Yes thats right $91.00 for the lime green black lace machine. Maybe someone got bored and decided to see what horrid evil thing they could design and create. Of corse you know when you think of black lace you think lime green would brighten that up. As for the black polkadots I'm thinking that was just an accident with a ballpoint pen exploding which would explain why they aren't on the back.
The dress was listed under drag queen which would explain why it sold for so much, drag queens tend to go big and bold or hella scary, well congrats you outdid yourself. I don't know how I'm able to come across these Ebay fuglies, its a gift I think, or maybe a terrible curse, or perhaps I'm just good at finding these precious gems. I too sell things on Ebay, mostly clothes, one day I may sell something even I find horrid, I'll post it here and hopefully you will laugh and say "I must have that!" then you go bid on it.....bid high in fact. Then when you get it you will put it on, come to this site and scroll down to its post. You will smile and be like "Dude I'm totally wearing that!"
But for now, enjoy other peoples follies.
Lillys rating : Knock down drag out...to the trash.


Daniel Davis always knew he was different. He grew up in backwoods Tennessee, surrounded by good-ol-boys and cute freckled girls with cut offs, bare feet, who were married to the good-ol-boys at 13, thus ensuring the natural backwoods way of life. Daniel, or D.D. as his 11 cute sisters called him, longed for the big city and bright lights, anything to escape Hickory Hollow. Used to the abuse of the good-ol-boys, D.D. sometimes dressed in his sisters clothes to escape their notice, this was okay of course before he was 13, but when he turned 13 in his pretty gingham skirts and bluebell bonnets, Len Sellers took note of him. Len, a moonshine making mountain of a man was looking for himself a wee little wifey to walk around barefoot and make him biscuits, and his eye settled on that fine little Davis girl just celebrating a birthday.

To cut the history lesson short, ol Lenny boy wasn't to pleased when that freckled sweetie turned out to be a bit more meaty than expected and poor D.D. was run out of town. All the way to Vegas, where for the first time he heard a beautiful, BUXOM, blonde singing about jolene, nine to five and always loving you, and a dream was born. All D.D. needed was a bottle of bleach and the right outfit to make him the most popular Dolly in Drag on the Strip.

Willows rating: I will always love you, because you are a beautiful dress for a drag queen!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63861&item=5402195788&rd=1

Hey everyone!
Never fret! Cousin Willow and I will be posting soon! Just been really busy lately!
Miss ya'll.
-Lilly

Drinking Squirrel

I took four shots of Tequila and then started drinking out of the bottle around the fire. The bioluminescent dinoflagellates were out and Mel made them spark. BRB

Rose Colored Glasses Necessary for Viewing

IT was a terrible night at the sewing factory, the rain was pounding the roof and the defening thunder was cracking.
Millie worked tirelessly to finish the last of the nights shirt order.
Suddenly the lights flickered out and poor Millie was left alone in the dark. She knew she had to finish or it ment docked pay and she couldn't afford to lose a single dime.

With the lights out and the storm thumping the little factory about, Millie finished in the dark. She leaned back in her chair and let out a sigh of relief, this ment there would be no docked pay.
Finally the lights flashed back on and the fimiliar humming sound of the lights could be herd.

Millie peered down at her nights work and was shocked at what she saw.
Poor Millie, hard working Millie had sewen several parts from other shirts togeather.
Lillys rating- We don't need no stinking patches!






http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=63868&item=5398948764&rd=1

The blame game

Angry calvin

By nature I am a sweet, loving, kind, funny, strange, considerate, helpful, fun girl. I rarely get angry or raise my voice. But tonight I was pushed over the edge and I swore at (but not towards) cousin Willow. Let me start back long ago when I was an adorable pudgy little girl. I grew up in a small town where everyone knows you and if you have a secret chances are taking it to your grave would be like winning the lotto. Not gonna happen.

I was raised right despite my bizzare family. I had many friends in grade school and even graduated highschool with most of them. One in particular I was pretty much raised with, we were buddies, I changed her name here. I will call her Kriss Hare. Kriss Hare was a good girl, went to church, obeyed her mom, and was kind to others. We went many places togeather and had lots of fun.

Well apparently I have become a bad influence according to her mom and aunts.
Today my cousin Willow told me that my friend Kriss Hare took a man she met on the internet home to meet her family. Of course I knew this, but then she told me that they said she was meeting guys from the net because of me and that I had told her too. I never told my friend to do anything but be careful and don't go meeting a bunch of strange people. It seems they are blaming me for everything she does bad instead of looking at the problem right in front of them. So I started swearing and ranting to Willow then I came here to post it.

I don't know why they are blaming me, I told Kriss Hare that I didn't recommend meeting net men but she was old enough to do what she wanted. Now Kriss Hares mom is a tough church going woman, she strongly believes that Kriss shouldn't have sex untill shes married. But what she doesn't know is Kriss Hare has had sex with a few different men. She even smokes pot on ocassion. I live 2 states away from my dear friend Kriss Hare. I wasn't there when she started having sex and I wasn't there when she started pot smoking. If her mom found out about it I'm sure Kriss Hare would get her butt kicked.

I don't know why I 'm getting blamed but I'v had it, I suppose its because they don't want to think that their precious daughter does anything wrong so they need someone to point the finger at. And it would be me because I have met some people from online and I even married one. Yes we are still married and very much in love. (The internet worked for me and it can work for you too! Ask me how!)

So the next time I talk to Kriss Hare on the phone I'm going to ask why I get blamed for everything. I know shes stuck up for me before, I heard her do it.
Willow my wise cousin, told me that she thinks Kriss Hares mom is jealous of me because of how well I'm doing and her 23 year old daughter is living at home with no chances of moving out soon. One day when I finally move back to my home state and get settled I'm sure I'll run into Kriss Hares mom and or aunts. I'm sure something will be brought up that will irk me and I'll start yelling.

I'm sick of it! BLah!
-Lilly

Moth Faerie and the Volcano Gods

The end of the reign of the Moth Faerie is drawing near. Very near for in 5 short days she will abdicate her place of power for a three month adventure into the wilderness. Tensions are bursting over as the Volcano Gods attempt to organize their realm. The Gnome King has been happier which makes the poor Moth Faerie's job easier. The Goblins seemed calmer, but Moth Faerie feels she is standing on the edge, unable to determine her own position for the following year. At the whim and mercy of the all powerful Volcano Gods

On a brighter note the Athleticai of which Moth Faerie is a part of, had the meeting of the coaches, a race in which we all take part trying to win the prize of a portion of the $7000 set aside for better equipment. She has won new garb for some of the goblins for their games of hoop and ball, as will as a net to divide the warring factions who play spikes and digs.

-Willow aka Moth Faerie

Dragon
This beaute I have nothing funny to say about. For one its not a funny picture, or I don't mean it to be.
Its a drawing I did back 2000, November 21st to be exact. The date is in the lower right hand corner but got cut off when posted here.
This wasn't traced or copied, its true I do have talent.
I don't remember where my inspiration came from but I'm pretty proud of it. And being a girl drawing something not so feminin is even cooler.
I'm cool....yeah I said it.
You want it? I'll sell it to you on Ebay. Just ask.
-Lilly

No Mammal, this Animal

It was a cool crisp morning when the pack of extreamily rare white panthers woke from a long sleep. They yawned revealing their bone crushing teeth still blood stained from the night before. The pack gathered at a small water hole slowly drying up from the intense heat. Drinking the cool clean water and basking in the sun a loud bang was suddenly herd.

From the bushes Finky McFinkerson peered out to see what prizes he had won.
A small handful of the panthers had met their fate with a barage of bullets.
After so many years of searching, plotting and hunting, Finky had finally claimed his prizes. Taking the pelts home he worked day and night to construct a dress of emaculate beauty. Finally, after the 5th day, he finished with the last stich.
No sooner had he finished, Finkys daughter Spoilia came bounding down to him.

"Father! Wheres my dress?! I WANT IT NOW! You said I could have my dress and I WANT IT NOW!" He presented her with the dress, proud of his hard work.
Spoilia winced at the dress. "Daddy I wanted the black one!"

Lillys rating: Shoot it and put it out of its misery.

Lost in the Savanna, weak from hunger Tiffany Kirkpatrick raised weary eyes to the horizon and beheld an animal like no other charging her the mythical Cheezebra. Gasping with fear she raised her rifle to her shoulder and sighted shakily down the scope. Ker Pow. She rushed forth and drank greedily of the animals blood before deciding to skin the Cheezebra. Minutes later Tiffany was rescued by diamond hunters, and returned to civilization where she proudly wore her Cheezebra outfit. On her way to the photography platform enraged members of PETA and the World Wildlife Federation stormed the diaz and tore Tiffany to pieces with their never tested on animals knives and forks.

Willows rating: The call of the wild. Please hang up.

Note to world: In case you don't believe. They are asking 180.00 for this lovely little ensemble.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=48869&item=8309058046&rd=1

Moth Faerie

Adventures of Moth Faerie. Moth Faerie bravely went to work today, where the hundreds of goblins swarmed the grass and Big Toy, clambering on the slides and Swiss Family Robinsonesque landscapes. The warmer days approach, and the goblins are working hard to overthrow the tentative regime. They know they outnumber us, for there is only Moth Faerie and Pepsi Sprite. Today several of the female goblins were throwing pinecone bombs at each other. The brave Moth Faerie screeched at them to stop. One goblin decided to throw pinecones at the Moth Faerie. The Gnome King came out of his room in the brick fortress and gave the goblin a talking too. All the male goblins were ecstatic because usually they get caught, not the females. Only 7 more days of goblins
-Willow.